Schmany Cars and Stuff

Yes, darling, it is a bit odd that you are driving a brand new Jag but cannot afford a cell phone. I know you say you "share" your phone with your boyfriend, but um, no, that makes no sense. Sounds like somebody's getting pimped. I'm just sayin'.

Waitresses, Bitch Please!

Seriously, I don't need your help. Mostly because I don't have sex for money. That means the customers you like to hook up with prostitutes so you can extort the whore for extra money don't really do it for me. So it's okay if you don't like me. I actually enjoy fucking with your money and telling MY customers to give MY favorite waitresses huge ass tips and to ignore you! So go ahead and keep talking shit. I will court your drama for shits and giggles. Teehee! P.S. I will also continue to take your customers from you one at a time until you decide that you need to kiss my ass. TTFN baby!

PSA: Marrying a Customer

Don't do it.

Anna Nicole Smith did it. Her life went to shitness. May she rest in peace.

I've had friends do it. They regret it.

I've had the option to do it, and the answer is HELL TO THE NO.

Think about what type of man visits a topless bar looking for a wife. What type of woman is he looking for? What do you think he'll expect from a wife?

Anyway, he's already giving you his money. Why get tied down to him? Just keeping stringing him along, honey. It's better that way.